A Friend Cleanse

Moment of pride for this week: I’ve recently done a bit of a cleanse as far as my friendships go. I was finding myself emotionally stressed constantly trying to talk to people and keep up conversations, and make time to spend with people that I didn’t really need to be.

So I laid it all out. I told people what I wanted or needed from them and left the rest up to them. I stopped putting in tons of extra effort and focused on those putting effort into me. I met a few new people and am pursuing new friendships, but I have cut loose those who were sitting on the fringes of my life. One frayed edge can easily untangle an entire masterpiece, and while my life is no masterpiece, it’s a work in progress. And I want to keep moving forward.

With that being said, letting go of baggage isn’t always easy, especially when that baggage has a history. People who have been a part of your life for any length of time automatically play a part in your development, both positively and negatively. And it is rare that people only have negative ties to you. More often than not, those relationships you now find yourself trying to cut loose were originally life giving and inspiring friendships. When those relationships go sour, that’s when bitterness seeps in, and animosity and negative emotions take control.

What I have found my self doing is taking the time to call to mind specific people that always seem to come to mind with anger or sadness. Then I make a mental (and sometimes physical) list of what happened to cause those emotions toward that person. I try to make sure i remember the good and the bad, so i can compare and contrast the options, just like they taught us in grade school. After that, it becomes easier to really pinpoint whether or not that person has any potential for helping make my future life any better. The past may shape us, but it does not limit us. We do not have to make out past a part of our future. We can make the choice to step away, and step forward. It might hurt, and it might take a few tries, but making the choice to let go is sometimes the only way we can move on to brighter and better things.

~Kelly