I am sure I am not the only one out there who feels like they have been launched through their early twenties, rushed past their mid-twenties, and are now hurtling toward their thirties feeling overwhelmed and underprepared for life at large.
Anyone else know that sort of feeling?
Quite often, I feel as though I am living in a scenario involving a revolving door. In this scenario, there are three main experiences: the anticipation of entering the door, being inside and mid-spin, or being released while stepping out the other side. Explore with me, if you will, a quick break down of these moments.
Step One: Anticipation
When approaching a revolving door, there are a variety of variables to take into consideration. How fast are the doors spinning? Are other people trying to get through? Is there a regular door nearby? Is it electric and spinning at one speed, or is it the kind powered by the people pushing through? These are just a few things that come to mind, right? In a matter of seconds, our minds process all of these variables and instruct our body to make it’s way through as best it can.
In my line of work and my life in general, there are often special events that I have to prepare for. Weddings of friends and family, professional development events, birthdays, family reunions, leadership conferences, gallery displays…well, there is no shortage of events that I tend to end up helping with. Much of this type of work creates a massive build up of anticipation. Sure, there is often excitement since I have typically worked very hard on these programs and events, but the people pleaser in me is also always anticipating what negative things might happen, or what people might have to say afterward. How in the world I ever manage to get all things things done in a way that is pleasing to the majority of the people who attend is nothing short of a praying for a miracle. Every. Single. Time.
Step Two: Spinning
Did I send that email? What if they misunderstood what I meant? Why doesn’t he say what I need to hear? Have I made them proud of me?
Once the anticipation has met with action, that is where the rest of the work begins. Here is where I tend to find that ever changing to-do list. Of course I am marking things off and tossing that particular note in the trash once completed, or filing that email into it’s designated folder. But then I realize there is another task or two waiting to take it’s place. It is a rare day that I leave my office or go to bed feeling like I have accomplished everything I would have liked to in that day or even that week. My life have never been accused of being boring, and while in this spinning stage, I often find myself wishing I was better at saying “No, thank you.” or “Maybe another time.” or even “I don’t have the capacity to do that right now, but please invite me again!” There are so many analogies for spinning: spinning plates, juggling acts, on the merry-go-round (which doesn’t all that merry in this particular scenario). The room has begun to spin around me as I think about this and I feel a little dizzy already. To say life is a bit of a whirlwind is a bit of an understatement. It seems that life is a challenge where I feel compelled to take on as much as possible, then hold on for dear life as I figure out how to do each task successfully.
Step Three: Release
Where do I go from here? Did I make it out on time? What if where I left was where I was meant to be? Dear Lord, there aren’t any more doors, are there?
After every possible action has been taken, the events are over, and the spinning has stopped – what are we left with? I guess this probably varies on a case by case basis. An adrenaline deficit. Successful completion. And maybe in the best case scenarios, a feeling of freedom. As someone who lives their life constantly on the go, I often find myself getting to a point where I crash. This may be physical exhaustion to a point, but more often than not, it is rather a mental or emotional depletion that occurs. This is sometimes a sensation of being totally drained, but I generally hope for satisfied sort of tired. Once that super long list of things to do has been fully crossed off (at least for today) I can finally take a moment to look back on all that had been achieved. In the best situations, my life and the lives of those around me have been improved, even if only for a moment, and from that I find immense contentment and dare I say pride.
I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but whenever I make it through all these stages, I inevitably find myself starting the process all over again. That is simply the way life goes. And while there are certainly days where the world seems to daunting to face, we have no choice but to overcome and thrive.
If you have any tips, advice, or support for an “approaching her thirties” young professional who is striving to make her mark on her little corner of the world, please drop them in the comments or shoot me an email. I certainly welcome the chance to learn from those who’ve already faced many of their own revolving doors.
Thank you for your time and take care!
~ Kelly
Devine Perks 